w/Big Coffin Hunters & Art of Betrayal

So many things went wrong with this show that I barely know where to start. We got a vibe that this would be a stinker a few weeks ahead of time when we found out how the money works – the security and door person’s pay came out of the door money (and thus the band’s money), not the bar money. Other Portland clubs don’t do it that way, and as the production of the new cd progresses and we get further and further into debt we are very concerned about money. Due to this venue’s weird staffing arrangements and the list of other shows at other venues that night we suspected that our show would make jack shit, so we gave Lourds from NYC the option of dropping off of the bill, which they did. Good thing too, since I didn’t want to be the one to tell a band who dragged there asses up from NYC that there would be no money for their efforts. Then, the day before the show, Heart Shaped Rock had to cancel due to illness. Art of Betrayal were able to step in and fill the slot, but shouldn’t we have read this as a sign from above?

The bad signs continued during load-in: first, the cunt behind the bar told Runtt he couldn’t bring in his dunkin donuts coffee, since they had not sold it to him. Jesus christ, it was a 2 dollar coffee! There’s a restaurant attached to the venue where we might have eaten dinner, but after the coffee thing we didn’t feel like giving them a dime. They blew the opportunity to sell us 5 dinners at maybe 8 bucks each because Runtt brought in one 2 dollar coffee. Then there were the nasty pool players (there’s also a pool hall attached to the venue, and for some reason we had to load in past the pool players). We were very respectful of them and always waited for them to finish shots before passing by, but some asshole with a village people mustache dragged a table and some chairs into the way specifically to block us from coming through and made us feel oh-so-welcome. And all of them seemed to be drinking dunkin donuts coffee.

While the first band was on we were told that the door person hadn’t shown up, so not only had some people come in without paying, but I had to work the door. Since the turnout was so bad I guess that not having to pay that loser was the one bright spot of the evening. As for the actual music that night, Art of Betrayal were pretty cool and very prog, with lots of dazzling instrumental breaks. Not bad for only their second show, and they were good guys to hang out with. We definitely want to play with them again at a better venue. Big Coffin Hunters rocked as usual but seemed less than thrilled to be there (much like us). By the time we got onstage there were a few faithful there to watch (thumbs up to the gang from Taming the Shrew, Twisted Roots, Aepril and Mike from The Judgement, and the very hoarse Sheridan from Heart Shaped Rock), and they cheered mightily despite us playing pretty bad due to NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR ANYTHING! Sound onstage was absolutely awful and the PA was on the brink of dying: up front we had two monitors – one with a blown woofer and one with a blown tweeter. Josh the promoter was doing sound and was totally at a loss to save the dying system.

The Station is a prime example of how people who do not know how to run a venue should not TRY to run a venue. This joint blew like a Lincoln Tunnel whore, and it’s a shame that it does, since the stage is pretty big and the room is nicely set up for shows. One thing I have learned over the past year is that the rooms that are a bitch to get into tend to be the sucky rooms to play at and not worth the effort. Inability to get a booking person on the phone usually indicates a lack of professionalism that trickles down to PA and door people and bar cunts who confiscate your coffee. Never setting foot in that dive again.